Many organisations are introducing mentoring partnerships into the infrastructure of their organisation, hoping that staff will learn and grow by associating on a regular basis with a more experienced manager or leader. This relationship is sometimes confused by the expectation on the mentor of providing good managerial oversight and formal learning and development. This creates a heavy burden both on the mentor and the mentee.

For mentoring to be really successful, then the following matters need to be at play.

1. Clear purpose of the relationship

The purpose of the relationship needs to be discussed and agreed. Distinctions and boundaries between the mentoring relationship and the direct reporting/managerial relationships should be agreed. A direct line manager can rarely make for a good mentor to their staff. Open conversations about the expectations that the mentee and the mentor have about what will come from the relationship should be had, to ensure that both have similar outlook and expectancies.

2. Mutal Respect

This is active when the mentee recognizes the knowledge, skills, and abilities in the mentor; and when the mentor appreciates the qualities of the mentee and their desire to develop his or her capabilities. Both the mentor and the mentee must value the opportunity of the relationship and work to create benefits for both. If either one wants it more than the other, “lopsided” relationships can occur. Both the mentor and the mentee should be committing appropriate and close to equal time and energy to the process.

3. Trust

Mentors and mentees should work together to build trust, through open communication, confidentiality, reliability, being available and loyalty. Agreements should be made as to what each person needs from the other and any actions that are committed to, should be met.

Trust is built when each person expresses value for the person they are working with;

When they openly acknowledge the benefits they see arising from the relationship;

When they successfully deal with problems, conflicts and difficulties, leading to an atmosphere of emotional acceptance of each other;

When both people recognise and acknowledge the successes, lessons learnt and progress achieved.

4. Partnership

The mentor and the mentee are professional partners. It is important for both parties to be able to speak openly and to provide honest feedback. Natural barriers that all partnerships face may include miscommunication or misunderstandings.

There should be a commitment to overcome these barriers.

Activities that can help you do this include:

• Maintaining honest communication and feedback
• Openly discussing and fixing “obvious” problems
• Forecasting how decisions could affect goals
• Frequent discussion of needs, expectations and progress
• Monitoring changes and changing to meet new requirements.

5. Time

Set aside specific time to meet; do not change times unless absolutely necessary. Meet periodically, and at mutually convenient times when you can control interruptions. Frequently “check in” with each other via informal phone calls, etc. (it’s a good idea to schedule even informal activities to ensure regular contact).

The amount of time a mentor and mentee choose to invest in the relationship varies greatly, based on the needs, expectations, and desires of both parties. However, a mentoring relationship should be expected to exist for a minimum of 6 months, during which time anywhere from 4 to 8 meetings should occur. If there isn’t sufficient take-up from either party during this period, the mentoring relationship may fail.

The greatest commitment of time is generally at the beginning of the relationship, when the focus is on getting to know each other and exploring expectations. Before the mentor connection is even agreed upon, during the “interview” phase, the amount of time each person is expecting and willing to commit should be discussed. As the relationship evolves, the time spent together will naturally evolve based on mutual agreement.

If all five of these features are integrated and built into the relationship, the process and both the individuals will thrive and rich experiences will result.

Penny Sophocleous